He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
