my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
