The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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