you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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