Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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