I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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