if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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