YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
