Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
