There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
