I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I am one with the molecules
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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