just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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