There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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