He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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