I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
