My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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