It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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