I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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