the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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