haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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