so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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