so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
