do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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