Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
