i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
