I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
