Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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