I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
