3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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