I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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