just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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