Got a toothbrush?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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