So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
