Got a toothbrush?
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think I am morally bankrupt
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just invented taco cereal.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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