the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
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were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
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Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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