They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
