this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
