I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
