I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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