If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
