My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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