I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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