Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
