Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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