dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
