I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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