Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
