I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
