It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize