Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
