there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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