Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
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we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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