I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
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let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
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no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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