Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
