thus making me awesome and them whores
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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