I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
