sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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