are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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